{"id":836,"date":"2016-12-20T10:47:52","date_gmt":"2016-12-20T09:47:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zavnews.net\/?p=836"},"modified":"2016-12-20T10:49:59","modified_gmt":"2016-12-20T09:49:59","slug":"zamke-popustljivog-odgoja-ljubav-ne-kvari-dijete-kvari-ga-nedostatak-discipline","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zavnews.net\/index.php\/2016\/12\/20\/zamke-popustljivog-odgoja-ljubav-ne-kvari-dijete-kvari-ga-nedostatak-discipline\/","title":{"rendered":"Zamke popustljivog odgoja: Ljubav ne kvari dijete, kvari ga nedostatak discipline"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Na\u010din na koji roditelji odgajaju\u00a0djecu je direktno povezan s izgradnjom psihi\u010dkih struktura i tipa li\u010dnosti iste te djece. Jo\u0161 u prvoj polovini 20. stolje\u0107a, psihoanaliza odraslih je uvjerljivo pokazala da oni odrasli koji kao djeca nisu dobili dovoljno ljubavi, postaju neuroti\u010dne li\u010dnosti. Nastale su nove smjernice: Djeci morate pokazivati ljubav! Nemojte ih traumatizirati uskra\u0107ivanjem ljubavi!<\/h4>\n

Ako je dokazano da naj\u010de\u0161\u0107i rezultat nesretnog djetinjstva bez ljubavi jest nesretna, neuroti\u010dna odrasla osoba, zar to ne zna\u010di da \u0107e rezultat sretnog djetinjstva biti zadovoljna i sretna odrasla osoba? Ako neiskazivanje ljubavi dovodi do neuroze, zar nije onda ta\u010dno da pokazivanje ljubavi dovodi do zdravo formirane li\u010dnosti? Polaze\u0107i od takvih pretpostavki, za koje \u0107emo tek kasnije shvatiti da su pogre\u0161ne, pokazivanje ljubavi je stavljeno u centar odgojnog\u00a0pristupa \u00bbideologije sretnog djeteta\u00ab.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Prate\u0107i savjete o savremenom odgoju djece, a sve u cilju o\u010duvanja i unapre\u0111enja dje\u010dijeg mentalnog zdravlja, roditeljima je postalo najva\u017enije kako se njihovo dijete osje\u0107a. Da bi roditelj mislio da je dobar roditelj, njegovo dijete se stalno moralo osje\u0107ati voljeno i biti sretno. Zato su se roditelji po\u010deli truditi da djecu uvjere da su jako voljena, omogu\u0107avaju\u0107i im samo pozitivne do\u017eivljaje i iskustva.<\/p>\n

\"SlikovniPoslije nekoliko decenija takve prakse, po\u010deli smo uvi\u0111ati da nije nu\u017eno da \u0107e sretno dijete postati sretan odrasli. S razo\u010darenjem smo shvatili da druga formula \u2013 sretno dijete, nesretni odrasli \u2013 nije samo mogu\u0107a, ve\u0107 je i najverovatnija. Razma\u017eeno dijete i preza\u0161ti\u0107eno dijete su nove patologije, rezultat novog pristupa. Prvo izrasta u patolo\u0161kog narcisa, a drugo u pasivno-ovisnu li\u010dnost.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Razma\u017eena djeca uprkos visokoj inteligenciji, izrastaju u nesocijalizirane li\u010dnosti koje ne \u017eele odrasti, koje su sebi\u010dne i narcisoidne, koje slabo kontroliraju svoje impulse, sklone su nasilju, uprkos svojim talentima nemaju radne navike tako da su neuspje\u0161ni, i koje zbog toga dugo ostaju u simbiotskoj vezi sa svojim roditeljima i kada za\u0111u u svoju \u010detvrtu ili petu deceniju.<\/p>\n

Za razliku od njih, preza\u0161ti\u0107ena djeca su veoma pasivna jer o sebi misle da su nesposobna, pla\u0161e se svijeta oko sebe kojeg\u00a0 do\u017eivljavaju kao veoma opasno mjesto, zbog \u010dega su tako\u0111er u simbiozi s roditeljima ili dominantnim partnerima.<\/p>\n

Kako to da ljubav izaziva poreme\u0107aj? Ljubav ne mo\u017ee pokvariti dijete, ve\u0107 ga kvari ono \u010dega nema u ovom pristupu, a to je discipliniranje. U \u017eelji da stalno usre\u0107uju vlastitu djecu, roditelji su po\u010deli izbjegavati da sa njima ulaze u konflikt, postali su popustljivi.<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Danas smo nau\u010dili da su djeci podjednako potrebni i ljubav i discipliniranje. Na osnovu toga \u0161to zna da je voljeno, dijete izgra\u0111uje pozitivnu sliku o sebi, shva\u0107a da je va\u017eno ljudsko bi\u0107e. Discipliniranje je ono \u0161to omogu\u0107ava socijalizaciju i razvijanje razli\u010ditih radnih navika, po\u0161tovanje zabrana i granica.<\/p>\n

Discipliniranje podrazumijeva konflikt djetetove \u017eelje i roditeljske volje. To je u stvari neizbje\u017eni konflikt biologije i sociologije. Kako je cilj roditelja da socijalizira dijete, on je taj koji u tom konfliktu treba da prevlada. Popustljivi odgoj\u00a0je pokazao koliko je pogubno po razvoj djetetove li\u010dnosti i njegovu odraslu sudbinu. Mi roditelji se trebamo podsjetiti da nam je glavni zadatak da djecu pripremimo za samostalni \u017eivot u ljudskom dru\u0161tvu, pa da oni sami na\u0111u svoju sre\u0107u, a ne da ih stalno usre\u0107ujemo. Ako smo stalno mi odgovorni za njihovu sre\u0107u, onda oni na kraju ne \u017eele odrasti i prihvatiti odgovornost.<\/p>\n

savjetnikuspjeha<\/p>\n

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Na\u010din na koji roditelji odgajaju\u00a0djecu je direktno povezan s izgradnjom psihi\u010dkih struktura i tipa li\u010dnosti iste te djece. Jo\u0161 u prvoj polovini 20. stolje\u0107a, psihoanaliza odraslih je uvjerljivo pokazala da oni odrasli koji kao djeca nisu dobili dovoljno ljubavi, postaju…<\/p>\n

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