{"id":7654,"date":"2018-04-30T23:16:35","date_gmt":"2018-04-30T21:16:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zavnews.net\/?p=7654"},"modified":"2018-04-30T23:16:35","modified_gmt":"2018-04-30T21:16:35","slug":"prestanite-se-zaliti-ljudima-je-lakse-patiti-nego-zivjeti-sretno","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zavnews.net\/index.php\/2018\/04\/30\/prestanite-se-zaliti-ljudima-je-lakse-patiti-nego-zivjeti-sretno\/","title":{"rendered":"Prestanite se \u017ealiti, ljudima je lak\u0161e patiti nego \u017eivjeti sretno"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Za\u0161to smo nesretni, koje prepreke na putu prema sre\u0107i mo\u017eemo susresti i kako ih nadi\u0107i? O svim ovim temama, na jezgrovit i lucidan na\u010din mo\u0107no zbori najpoznatiji psiholog Rusije, Mikhail Labkovski:<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Ne bojte se sre\u0107e.<\/strong>
\nVe\u0107ina ljudi su odrastali u porodicama koje prakticiraju neu\u017eivanje u \u017eivotu i gdje \u010dlanovi nemaju naviku govoriti da im je dobro i da su sretni. Nesposobnost roditelja radovati se i smijati se prenosi se i na djecu, koja po\u010dinju misliti da tako funkcionira ovaj svijet. Druga gre\u0161ka je misliti da za sve dobro morate platiti kasnije. Mi se bojimo osje\u0107ati zadovoljstvo u \u017eivotu i povezujemo to s ne\u010dim pokvarenim.<\/p>\n

2. Prestanite se \u017ealiti.<\/strong>
\n\u0160ta \u017eelite kad se \u017ealite nekome o svojim problemima? Vi se \u017eelite \u017ealiti, a ne rije\u0161iti probleme. To je neki kult jadikovanja \u2013 na\u0161 izum. Lak\u0161e je patiti nego \u017eivjeti sretno. Zdrava osoba \u0107e ili primiti situaciju kakva je, ili \u0107e istu promijeniti. Neuroti\u010dna osoba ne\u0107e ni jedno ni drugo. To se odnosi i na fizi\u010dku bolest \u2013 dok se psihi\u010dki zdrava osoba lije\u010di od bolesti, neuroti\u010dna \u0107e osoba htjeti biti bolesna, jer \u0107e na takav na\u010din imati razlog da jadikuje. To je skoro pa hobi \u2013 izmisliti sebi problem i patiti od njega.<\/p>\n

3. Razlikujte realne probleme od izmi\u0161ljenih.<\/strong>
\nRazlika izme\u0111u zdrave i neuroti\u010dne osobe je u tome da zdrava osoba brine o stvarnim problemima, dok neuroti\u010dna pati od nepostoje\u0107ih.<\/p>\n

4. Ne poku\u0161avajte pomagati svima oko sebe.<\/strong>
\n\u017delja pomo\u0107i svima okolo je uzrokovana strahom da se vas ne mo\u017ee voljeti za ono sto jeste, pa kroz pomo\u0107 drugima poku\u0161avate podi\u0107i svoje samopouzdanje. Stoga, ako vas nisu zamolili da pomognete, ne dirajte te osobe, nego se posvetite onima kojima je zapravo potrebna va\u0161a pomo\u0107.<\/p>\n

5. Ne odgovarajte ako vas nisu pitali.<\/strong>
\nKad vi rije\u010dima ili djelima odgovarate na nepostavljena pitanja, pokazujete svoju uznemirenost. Jednom sam prolazio sa svojom djevojkom pored du\u0107ana, ona je vidjela neku haljinu i rekla mi je: \u201cKakva lijepa haljina!\u201d Kad nisam ni\u0161ta odgovorio, rekla mi je: \u201cZnala sam da nisi mu\u0161karac!\u201d Ja bih njoj kupio tu haljinu da me pitala, ali ako vi u takvoj situaciji odmah bje\u017eite platiti na blagajnu, onda ste nesigurna osoba.<\/p>\n

6. Razlikujte ljubav od ovisnosti.<\/strong>
\nLjudi nikad ne\u0107e napustiti ono \u0161to vole. Na primjer- pu\u0161enje. Ja sam pu\u0161io 37 godina, a zadnjih 10 godina sam pu\u0161io 3 kutije dnevno. Jedanput sam prestao pu\u0161iti kad mi je doktor rekao da sam gotov. I to je trajalo 1 sat i 40 minuta. Prestao sam pu\u0161iti tek kad sam sebi rekao da ne volim cigarete, a ne da sam ovisan o njima. Neuroti\u010dni ljudi ne mogu razlikovati ljubav i ovisnost.<\/p>\n

7. Rutina nije uvijek lo\u0161a.<\/strong>
\nJa se bavim rutinom (\u010ditam i predajem) ve\u0107 zadnjih 37 godina i osje\u0107am se prekrasno. Neuroti\u010dne osobe ne mogu \u017eivjeti na miru, boje se da ne\u0161to ne\u0107e sti\u0107i napraviti, zavr\u0161avaju po pet fakulteta, uvijek su uznemireni, osje\u0107aju nelagodu ako ne rade ni\u0161ta.<\/p>\n

8. Mijenjajte sebe, a ne druge.<\/strong>
\nI to se odnosi najprije na odgajanje djece. Ne mo\u017eete ih prisiliti da rade ne\u0161to ako to ne radite vi sami. Djeca usvajaju ne ono \u0161to njima govorite, ve\u0107 ono \u0161to radite sami i kako se odnosite prema drugima. U ovom slu\u010daju jako je koristan savjet stjuardese: prvo stavite zra\u010dnu masku sebi, i tek onda djetetu.<\/p>\n

9. Lak\u0161e se odnosite prema tu\u0111oj kritici.<\/strong>
\nSjetite se situacije: vi sjedite u busu, ulazi stara baka. Cijeli autobus vas ljuto gleda i vi se, \u0161to je br\u017ee mogu\u0107e, di\u017eete s mjesta. Za\u0161to to radite, kad baka nije ni tra\u017eila da to u\u010dinite? Razlog se krije u niskom samopouzdanju i strahu od osu\u0111ivanja. Eksperimentirajte – probajte ostati na mjestu, ako se ne \u017eelite dignuti, bez obzira \u0161to govore ljudi okolo, ne reagirajte uop\u0107e nikako. S vremenom \u0107ete vidjeti da se tu\u0111a ocjena mo\u017ee ignorirati.<\/p>\n

10. Radite samo ono \u0161to \u017eelite.<\/strong>
\nKlasi\u010dan primjer toga je situacija kad se igrate sa svojom djecom zato \u0161to \u201ctako treba\u201d jer ste dobra osoba, a to zna\u010di \u2013 morate se igrati sa svojom djecom. Prestanite to raditi. Igrajte se s njima tek kad se \u017eelite igrati, jer i oni \u0107e osjetiti da vi to radite iz osje\u0107aja du\u017enosti, a ne zainteresiranosti. A osje\u0107aj du\u017enosti nije ljubav. Bavite se s djecom kad \u017eelite i koliko \u017eelite, jer svakako imate puno drugih obaveza.<\/p>\n

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  Za\u0161to smo nesretni, koje prepreke na putu prema sre\u0107i mo\u017eemo susresti i kako ih nadi\u0107i? O svim ovim temama, na jezgrovit i lucidan na\u010din mo\u0107no zbori najpoznatiji psiholog Rusije, Mikhail Labkovski: 1. Ne bojte se sre\u0107e. Ve\u0107ina ljudi su…<\/p>\n

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O svim ovim temama, na jezgrovit i lucidan na\u010din mo\u0107no zbori najpoznatiji psiholog Rusije, Mikhail Labkovski: 1. Ne bojte se sre\u0107e. 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