{"id":1184,"date":"2016-12-29T23:51:05","date_gmt":"2016-12-29T22:51:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zavnews.net\/?p=1184"},"modified":"2016-12-29T23:51:05","modified_gmt":"2016-12-29T22:51:05","slug":"ne-forsirajte-djecu-da-se-izvinjavaju-time-im-cinite-vise-stete-koristi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zavnews.net\/index.php\/2016\/12\/29\/ne-forsirajte-djecu-da-se-izvinjavaju-time-im-cinite-vise-stete-koristi\/","title":{"rendered":"Ne forsirajte djecu da se izvinjavaju \u2013 time im \u010dinite vi\u0161e \u0161tete nego koristi"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"\"<\/p>\n

Znate li da iznu\u0111ena izvinjenja \u010dine puno vi\u0161e \u0161tete nego koristi. Kada va\u0161e dijete u\u010dini ne\u0161to drugom djetetu ili nekoj osobi, \u0161ta roditelji naj\u010de\u0161\u0107e rade? Ka\u017eu djetetu da se izvini, jer tako nala\u017ee bonton odraslih kojeg roditelji logi\u010dno \u017eele da usade svom djetetu jo\u0161 od malih nogu.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nemojte to vi\u0161e raditi jer forsirana izvinjenja donose puno vi\u0161e \u0161tete nego koristi, ka\u017eu psiholozi. Posebno kada vidite da je djetetu te\u0161ko da prevali to \u201eIzvini\u201d<\/em> preko usta i pritom je jo\u0161 totalno neuvjerljivo.<\/p>\n

Prema rije\u010dima Laure Markam, dje\u010dijeg psihologa i pisca, forsiranje izvinjenja u totalnom je neskladu s onim \u0161to djeca u tom trenutku zaista osje\u0107aju. Recimo \u2013 kada dijete tjerate da se izvini svom prijatelju jer ga je udario\/uzeo igra\u010dku\/po\u010dupao\u2026 dijete \u0107e vam re\u0107i da mu je jako glupo da se izvinjava jer je ljut i jer ga to \u0161to ga tjerate da se izvini \u010dini jo\u0161 lju\u0107im.<\/p>\n

\"Slikovni<\/p>\n

Ili, kako stoji u njenoj knjizi, mo\u017ee do\u0107i i do situacija u kojima se dijete kojem se neko izvinio osje\u0107a glupo i jo\u0161 lju\u0107e zbog toga jer je svjesno da to izvinjenje nije do\u0161lo od srca i da dijete, koliko se god izvinjavalo, to radi samo zato \u0161to ga na to tjeraju roditelji.<\/p>\n

Uostalom, ako se dijete izvinjava jer to mora u\u010diniti da zadovolji formu, onda je to u dje\u010dijim o\u010dima \u010dista la\u017e. I imaju pravo. Zar ne? Jer forsiranje ne\u010dega djecu zapravo u\u010di pogre\u0161nim lekcijama, i kao takvo, forsirano izvinjenje ne\u0107e rije\u0161iti nastali problem. To su dokazale i brojne studije, ne samo one u kojima su se prou\u010davale dje\u010dije reakcije ve\u0107 i brojne studije vezane uz me\u0111uljudske odnose.<\/p>\n

Kako onda djecu ipak nau\u010diti da je izvinjenje va\u017eno za prijateljstvo i odnose?<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. U\u010dite dijete da otvorenije komunicira<\/strong>
\nAko \u0107ete svoje dijete od prvog dana u\u010diti da otvoreno iskazuje svoje emocije i svoje \u017eelje, te da isto tako zna i da druga djeca tako\u0111e imaju osje\u0107anja i \u017eelje, da slu\u0161aju i sebe i drugu djecu, tada \u0107e do konfliktnih situacija dolaziti mnogo rje\u0111e, odnosno, djeca \u0107e nau\u010diti da rije\u0161e svoje konflikte na puno dubljoj razini od pukog la\u017enog izvinjenja.<\/p>\n

\"Slikovni<\/p>\n

2. Pri\u010dekajte da ljutnja pro\u0111e<\/strong>
\nNemojte nikada tjerati dijete da se izvini automatski (osim ako dijete samo osjeti potrebu za tim). Radije pri\u010dekajte da se odljuti jer \u0107e tek tada biti spremno za iskreno izvinjenje.<\/p>\n

3. Podsti\u010dite ih da sami popravljaju \u201cstvar\u201d<\/strong>
\nKada roditelj uska\u010de u konflikt bilo da se radi o jednom njihovom i jednom tu\u0111em djetetu, ili bra\u0107i\/sestrama, kakvu poruku \u0161alje djeci? Da \u0107e mama\/otac uvijek rje\u0161evati njihove stvari, \u0161to nije dobro. Djecu treba podsticati da sami rije\u0161e svoje probleme, treba im dati priliku da o svemu dobro razmisle sami i tek kada osjete poriv da se izvine, tek kada shvate da su pogrije\u0161ili, tada mo\u017eete pri\u010dati o njihovoj odgovornosti da sami rje\u0161avaju svoje nesuglasice.<\/p>\n

4. U\u010dite ih na svojim primjerima<\/strong>
\nNi velikima \u010desto nije lahko izustiti izvini, no ako \u0107ete kao roditelj svaki put kada u\u010dinite ne\u0161to (namjerno ili slu\u010dajno) lahko izustiti iskreno izvinjenje, svom \u0107ete djetetu dati najbolju lekciju. Tako \u0107e i ono polahko u\u010diti \u0161ta je to izvinjenje, kome treba, kako se osje\u0107aju nakon izvinjenja, bilo da su oni ti koji ka\u017eu \u201coprosti\u201d<\/em> ili se njima pra\u0161ta. Tako \u0107e puno lak\u0161e nau\u010diti da se izvine bez da ih iko na to tjera.<\/p>\n

zavnews.net\/Akos.ba<\/p>\n

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Znate li da iznu\u0111ena izvinjenja \u010dine puno vi\u0161e \u0161tete nego koristi. Kada va\u0161e dijete u\u010dini ne\u0161to drugom djetetu ili nekoj osobi, \u0161ta roditelji naj\u010de\u0161\u0107e rade? Ka\u017eu djetetu da se izvini, jer tako nala\u017ee bonton odraslih kojeg roditelji logi\u010dno \u017eele da…<\/p>\n

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Kada va\u0161e dijete u\u010dini ne\u0161to drugom djetetu ili nekoj osobi, \u0161ta roditelji naj\u010de\u0161\u0107e rade? 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